In support of my motion, your honor, I offer the following list into evidence . . the Top 10 Cars that Teens Want. Forbes Magazine put this together so I'm sure it has some validity. And there's barely a vehicle on the list that would do anything but elicit a ginormous "yawn".
Now, the top pick bodes well for our young people: the Ford Mustang. Excellent choice. Sporty. Powerful. A little excessive. Nice. Number nine is another great pick from Ford, the F-150 pickup.
But after that, it's a rapid slide into snoozeville.
Here's the rest of the list, starting at number ten: Nissan Altima, Ford Focus, Toyota Prius, Toyota Camry, Toyota Corolla, Volkswagen Beetle, Honda Accord and Honda Civic.
All eminently practical.
And all utterly and completely dull.
I mean, c'mon! A Focus? An Accord? Really? A Camry?? That's your grandmother's car. A Corolla? That's the car I made my own teenagers drive to ensure they didn't have any fun. A Beetle? That's the best you can do?
But worst of all . . . the Prius.
A teenager should be many things. Rebellious. Reckless. Fearless. The last thing a teen should be is green. There's plenty of time to be responsible later. You're only a teenager for a few years. You're a grown-up for the rest of your life.
Now, look at the cars that were lusted after when I was pimpled and dateless: Pontiac GTO. Plymouth Road Runner. Chevy Malibu. Dodge Charger. And great pony cars like the Mustang, Chevy Camaro, Dodge Challenger and Pontiac Firebird (three of the four available once again at a dealer near you). Even foreign cars like the Datsun 240Z were wanted by many a red-blooded American boy or girl. Not a single one of my friends pressed their noses against the glass of the local dealer longing for their very own Ford LTD or Dodge Dart.
The reality was that most of us indeed drove the cars our parents drove because that's what we ended up with. We could only imagine owning a Goat or a 'Vette. But at least those were the cars that raced through our dreams.
Not a Prius. Or a Civic.